Today, largely due to the feminist and LGBTQ movement, the liberation of one's sexuality and sexual orientation has entered our revolutionary discourse on rights; however, males' sexuality and rights are being more and more marginalized.
Nowadays, any defamatory or derogatory term used to describe the sexual behaviors of women is counter-attacked with strong backlash by feminists, women in general and some men. Most feminists argue that those terms are used by men to control women’s sexuality and to gain a sense of control over them. Yet, no one seems to take an issue with the term “f--kboy”—a phrase often used by women to single out men who are promiscuous.
It's surprising, since the feminist movement is supposed to be about equality and not about raising double standards that only benefit women. If we are fighting for the sexual liberation of all the ladies, we cannot outcast some men for their sexual decisions simultaneously.
A f--kboy is practically any guy who enjoys the company of multiple partners, either due to a high sex drive, a fear of commitment or simply because he enjoys the idea of collecting bodies (the women he sleeps with are somewhat of a trophy or collection, another girl added to the list of girls he has already slept with).
Being called a f--kboy by a girl is like being blacklisted by all her friends and any other female acquaintance of hers. However, with the rise of dating apps, this is no longer a problem for men who love to indulge in much sex.
Most dating apps, or the least questionable ones, offer the premise of love. On Tinder, Bumble and Match, the idea is that you can swipe your way into your soulmate’s arms. But for hedonistic guys, these are just tools to bring girls into their beds. For one, they can adjust the distance and the age and handpick the girls that suit their taste. Dating apps have completely reinvented what it means to be f--kboys.
Not all f--kboys rely on dating apps to attract partners. To be a f—kboy, one must be smooth, overly convincing, and capable of always finding the right words.
Nursing student Peter Maurival claimed, “I would not call myself a f--kboy, but talking to the opposite sex is less about what you say and more about how you say it.”
Being a player, which is what we called it before the turn of the millennium, varies widely -- from mannerisms to techniques. For instance, some f--kboys are very upfront about what their intentions are.
“I think you always have to tell the person what you want and be honest about it. If not, you are wasting their time," said a sophomore graphic design student.
Others lie as if there is no tomorrow. This practice is known, at least at Barry, as “selling her a dream.”
Guys sell dreams for two reasons: to get with a girl who is naive and thinks he is really interested in dating her, or to make a promiscuous girl feel less self-conscious. Other f--kboys have girlfriends they are cheating on or multiple f--k-buddies. All in all, that is the lifestyle in a nutshell.
Like everything else in life, there is a downside to this lifestyle or culture—guys talk. Most guys who sleep around tend to talk to anyone willing to listen. Sometimes the stories they tell about some of the girls are not true.
Shayna Ramirez, a sophomore biology student, said it best.
"It is okay to sleep with as many people as you want to, but the real issue is...they give the girls they sleep with a bad reputation by telling their friends about their sexual encounters. The consequences of them sharing those intimate stories is that they are shared to third parties who will spread them as rumors."
Guys should refrain from being blabbermouths because sex is very intimate for some people. Those people are deprived of that intimacy simply because they shared that experience with a man who is chatty.
Even though this practice is not flawless, the general sentiment towards it remains the same. If young adults, or adults period, are having consented sex, it seems absurd to shun them for it.
One of my peers, a male junior majoring in business, who chose to remain anonymous put it this way.
“As long as there is consent; it is no harm, no foul. It is a pleasure-seeking culture and what I like about it is most of the girls calling me a f--boy in public come back for more. No matter what they say publicly, one thing is undeniable—done right, sex is a wonderful experience.”
Sex, as long as it is safe and consensual, should be enjoyed without being shunned for doing it regardless of if one is a male or a female.